Buffy

"You must be older than Buffy the Vampire Slayer to be served in this establishment."

Joe Shuster

"You gotta have drawn breath with the guy who drew Superman to be served in this establishment."

What's the 411, hon?

"You must be older than Mary J. Blige's recording career to be served in this establishment."

You're the one for me, Fatty

"You must be older than Your Arsenal to be served in this establishment."

Selena Gomez

"You must be older than the former future Mrs. Bieber[fn1] to be served in this establishment."

fn1:  Or so the Internets tells me.  Whatever.  I can't even keep up with what the kids are saying these days, so get offa my lawn!

Get out your seat

"You must be older than House of Pain to drink in this establishment."

New World Order

"You must be older than Psalm 69 to drink in this establishment."

How the Gods Kill

"You must be older than Danzig III to drink in this establishment."

And I notice its turning

"You must be older than the last George Harrison album to drink in this establishment."

Holli Would if She Could

"You must be older than Cool World to be served in this establishment."

This was four years after Who Framed Roger Rabbit? (and decades past Fritz the Cat), so it's hardly an innovator in the school of Sexy Cartoons.  It's possible (though possibly a misuse) to call it Brad Pitt's first mainstream starring role, although he'd been prominently as a supporting role in Thelma & Louise the year before.

So boring his Secret Service code name is "algore"

"You must have been born before Clinton picked Gore to drink in this establishment."

It's the middle of the night and I'm so gone

Happy 21st birthday, Sky Ferreira!  (Kind of fitting she's the exact age as Melrose Place, innit?)

"You must be older than Melrose Place to drink in this establishment."

Curiosity I may be misremembering:  Heather Locklear's character never got a co-starring credit; rather, she was always featured as a "special guest," even after she became a series regular.  That's, um, all I know about the show.  

Goosebumps

"You must be older than the Goosebumps[fn1] series to be served in this establishment."

fn1:  I had to estimate the date, here.  Wikipedia only specifies July 1992; July 7th was the first publication date of that month. 

I don't think he's taking this seriously

Das Sigh.  I should be flattered Ken Jennings (!!!) is unwittingly biting my style, but of course it means I'll be irrelevant in nine, eight, seven...

Want to feel old? "Tom's Diner" by Suzanne Vegas came out FIFTY-FIVE YEARS AGO TODAY
— Ken Jennings (@KenJennings) June 29, 2013

Kidding! only kidding!  I was already irrelevant.

... shoot, that's s'posed to look better.  I'll revise on my home machine when I get a chance.  Looks fine, actually.  Originally done here.