Peyo

"You gotta have drawn breath at the same time as the creator of the Smurfs to be served in this establishment."

You're gonna miss my hoo-ah, my tangoing, blind driving....

"You must be older than Scent of a Woman to be served in this establishment."

No, no, I kid.  This really was a good movie; it deserves more than just jokes.

If I ever fall in love

"You must be older than Shai to be served in this establishment."

"You must be older than Leap of Faith to be served in this establishment."

Also known as, you must be older than Snoop Dogg's recognizable career...

"You must be older than The Chronic to be served in this establishment."

That was the first video.  Here's the second:

Aww, what the hell, let's do the third:

"You must be older than Incesticide to be served in this establishment." 

 

I really have very little chance to title this anything other than "You can't handle the truth"

"You must be older than A Few Good Men to be served in this establishment."

"You must have been born before the marriage of the century (or whatever they called it) was called off to be served in this establishment."

 

 

... and happy birthday, Rhonda!

Utah Saints

"You must be older than the Utah Saints to be served in this establishment."

... and happy birthday, Kelly!

The Verve

"You must be older than The Verve to be served in this establishment."

The Verve Pipe was two weeks ago; I actually did not know they were so close together.  Huh. 

Nothing like a nice, warm uzi

"You must be older than The Distinguished Gentleman to be served in this establishment."

SMS

"You must be older than text messaging to be served in this establishment." 

Okay, this one surprised me. 

... and happy birthday, Yummie!

This was the one with "A Whole New World" (I think)

"You must be older than Aladdin to be served in this establishment."

I, uh, did actually like Gottfried's appearance.  He was, like, a parrot? 

"You must be older than The Bodyguard to be served in this establishment."

No, no---soundtrack was last week.  I don't know; they did them in that order, or something.

"You must be older than The Pharcyde to drink in this establishment."

"You must be older than...."

"You know what?  Just forget it."

"Yes, I know she's more famous for something else.  You can't make me look at it."

I've Suffered a Head Injury

"You must be older than The Verve Pipe to be served in this establishment."

Jerry, I cheated!

"You must be older than 'The Contest' to be served in this establishment."

I Will Always Love You

"You must be older than The Bodyguard soundtrack to be served in this establishment."

... and happy birthday, Elizabeth! (it's a little bit friendlier here than in this morning's entry)

Sterculius, Roman God of Feces

"You must be older than ... this bit of genius to drink here."

Rebirth of the Slick

"You must be older than that song that goes 'Cool Like Dat' to be served in this establishment."

Diggable Planets, yo.

You must have drawn breath at the same time as Richard Yates to be served in this establishment."

Math-man, Math-man

"You gotta have been born before Square One went off the air to drink here."

 

Now you do what they tell you

"You must be older than Rage Against the Machine to be served in this establishment."

"Or Rage Against the Machine, I guess.  Either.  Band or album.  And yeah, before you ask, I get the irony of using them to demonstrate the drinking age.  And its proximity to the word 'establishment.'  Look, can I get you something or not?"

Are you a chef? 'coz you keep serving me soup

"You must be older than Positive K to be served in this establishment."

Country Bill

"You must be older than the William Jefferson Clinton Era to be served in this establishment."

"You gotta be older than Galileo's good standing in the Catholic church to drink here."

"You must be older than the X-Men cartoon to be served in this establishment."

Waterland

"You must be older than Maggie Gyllenhaal and Lena Headey's acting careers to drink here."

I wanna see you dance again

"You must be older than Harvest Moon to be served in this establishment."

Toronto 4, Atlanta 2

"You must be older than the first Canadian World Series to be served in this establishment."

---like I said, it's probably just me being paranoid, but this is starting to---

OH COME ON!!

"Fight the real enemy!!" and I defiantly rip up a picture of a box of raisins.
— Ken Jennings (@KenJennings) October 21, 2013

F'reel's, Ken Jennings?

"Why am I Mr. Pink?"

"You must be older than Reservoir Dogs to drink in this establishment."

Well, let's play chess

"You gotta have sucked air with Cleavon Little in order to drink here."

The Contest

Sorry, late to this one:

Your 2012 NL Rookie of the Year

"You must be older than... shit."

Yeah, that makes me feel old. 

The artist formerly known as a pronounceable word

"You must have been born before Prince changed his name to... this:

... to be served here."

Now this you could call the start of Pitt's career

"You must be older than A River Runs Through It to be served in this establishment."

Willy Brandt

"You gotta have drawn breath with the guy who was mayor during the construction of the Berlin Wall--and the best chancellor Germany had in the 20th century--to be served in this establishment."

Somebody to shove

"You must be older than Grave Dancers Union to drink here."

Hey kids, rock and roll

"You must be older than Automatic for the People to be served in this establishment."

Fight the real enemy

"You must have been born before Sinead O'Connor tore up a picture of the pope in order to drink here."

Yeah, imagine:  The nerve to suggest the Catholic church was complicit in a massive perpetration of child abuse. 

Somebody owes O'Connor an apology. 

Coffee's for closers only

"You must be older than Glengarry Glen Ross to  be served in this establishment."

Ooh! Here are some upbeat titles: "Hero"... "Fearless"... "Alive"!

"You must be older than Hero to be served in this establishment."

"You must be older than The Mighty Ducks to be served in this establishment."

Tell me about the rabbits, George

"You must be older than the Of Mice and Men movie to be served in this establishment."

Ain't found a way to kill me yet

"You must be older than Dirt to be served in this establishment."

Ah-hah! see what I did there?  Also I forgot this one on the Singles post:

Milton

"You must be older than Milton to drink here."

Core

"You gotta be older than Stone Temple Pilots to drink here."

Experience

"You must be older than The Prodigy to be served in this establishment."

"You must be older than Last of the Mohicans to be served in this establishment."

Aww, Bee Girl!

"You must be older than Blind Melon to be served in this establishment."

Hmm.  I may have gotten that wrong.  Once more:

Did they call him "Coop" or something? Was that the hook?

"You must be older than Hanging with Mr. Cooper to be served in this establishment."

No animals were harmed during the making of this. Except Beavis

"You must be older than 'Frog Baseball' to drink in this establishment."

First episode of "Dog Boy," too.  

Singles

"You must be older than Singles to be served in this establishment."

"You must be older than Picket Fences to be served in this establishment."

A friend once theorized that, for any individual, no matter their lack of artistic talent, he or she would be able to draw Tom Skerritt to a level sufficient that the average observer would be able to identify the object of the drawing as "oh yeah... that guy." 

That's, uh, really all I have to say about this show.  I remember the commercials for it were... on? TV? a lot?  But that's it. 

"You must have been born before Frank Zappa's final performance to be served in this establishment."

I've seen things you people wouldn't believe

"You must be older than[fn1] the real version of Blade Runner to be served in this establishment."

fn1:  Date is approximate, but owing to the date of this report, I'm guessing it's close.  To show what new viewers are "missing," here's the original final voiceover:

You Gotta Believe

"You must have been born before the last album from Marky Mark & the Funky Bunch to be served in this establishment."

The difference between Rush Limbaugh and the Hindenburg is one's a flaming Nazi gasbag...

... and the other's just a poor blimp.

"You must be older than Rush Limbaugh's literary ... efforts in order to drink in this establishment."

... still can't believe it outsold How to Satisfy a Woman Every Time.  Probably everyone who bought the Limbaugh title should have bought Satisfy instead; that way they wouldn't even need to be told whom to blame for their frustrations. 

It's your mother[fn1]

"You must be older than Sneakers to be served in this establishment."

fn1:  I can't believe I remember seeing this movie.  I really can't believe I remember that line. 

But EVERYONE hates everything about you

"You must be older than Ugly Kid Joe to drink here."

... and christ, if you remember how &%$@! much MTV played that damn video, you need it.

Second appearance for Suzanne Vega on the blog

"You must be older than 99.9F to be served in this establishment."

What, no BIF! POW! ?

"You must be older than the Batman cartoon show to be served in this establishment."

"You must be older than The English Patient[fn1][fn2] to be served in this establishment."

 

fn1:  The book, not the movie.
fn2:  Date approximate; Internet yields only the month, and it wouldn't make the New York Times best-seller list until 1996. 

Jamón Jamón

"You must be older than Penelope Cruz's career to be served in this establishment."

 

 

... and happy birthday, Michaelle!

"You must be older than Super Mario Kart to be served in this establishment."

... okay, because it's Nintendo, there were different release dates for Japan, North America, and elsewhere.  Using the U.S. date here.

I'm seriously starting to think he's messing with me

... which is preposterous.  I get little statistics about how many people aren't reading this blog (answer: all of them), so is certainly a pure coincidence, but Ken Jennings' twitter feed seems like it's corresponding with this blog.  There's this and this, and now, less than a week after my post with "Layla" from Unplugged, Ken Jennings tweets:

ROCK TRIVIA: when Eric Clapton says "See if you can spot this one" on his Unplugged album he is holding up a Where's Waldo book to the crowd
— Ken Jennings (@KenJennings) August 30, 2013

Which, admittedly, is funnier than anything I'd've done with it. 

Now you're just being mean

Want to feel old? Frances Bean Cobain turns 40 this year.
— Ken Jennings (@KenJennings) August 28, 2013

In case you missed it the first time.

Who remembers when Nic Cage was actually a star?

"You must be older than Honeymoon in Vegas to be served in this establishment."

Mah-ehnnn!

"You must be older than Martin to be served in this establishment."

Humpin' Around

"You must be older than Bobby to be served in this establishment."

"You must be older than the band The Wallflowers to be served in this establishment."

"See if you can spot this one"

"You must be older than Eric Clapton's Unplugged album to be served in this establishment."

I love the look on his face when it dawns on him that, yeah, costume it all you want, everyone in the audience actually knew what song you were playing. 

"Tears in Heaven" was the other big hit from the album, but an even more heartbreaking song inspired by the accidental death of Clapton's son was played at the concert but mysteriously left off the live album.  Here's "Circus Left Town":

"You must have been born before Hurricane Andrew[fn1] to be served in this establishment."

fn1:  US landfall, that is; it passed over the Bahamas a day earlier.  Possibly jingoistic of me, but the Bahamas actually weathered the storm pretty well, whereas the botched response by FEMA was widely viewed to have contributed to President Bush's electoral defeat later that year.  So, you know.  It was a bigger deal here. 

"You gotta be older than Ruby Ridge in order to get served in this establishment."

As a friend put it (my awkward paraphrase), "How do you tell if someone thinks something crazy about what happened at Ruby Ridge?  They ask what you think happened at Ruby Ridge."  I was searching Youtube for news accounts, but the top 1,079,322 hits are gun-rights loons; I only had patience for about nineteen seconds of that. 

Demi Lovato

"You must be older than someone I never heard of but apparently is like a millionaire multiple times over and a really big deal in music, movies, and television.  Sheesh.  Anyway, you gotta clear that to get served."

Lunapark

"You must be older than Luna's first record to be served in this establishment."

And apropos of that, happy 21st birthday to Frances Bean Cobain!

Take That! and Party

"You gotta... wow, kids younger than Take That! can drink now, huh?  Oh well, it's suicide again for me."

... and happy birthday, Youyoung!

Big Orange Couch

"You must be older than SNICK to be served in this establishment."

"Wait... let's try that again."

"And man, does the thought of that connection---kids old enough to watch Ren & Stimpy and Rugrats in one continuous broadcast now being kids old enough to get too wasted to f*#k on SoCo lime shooters and Natty Light---give me the squicks."

"You must be older than Single White Female to be served in this establishment."

"You must be older than NAFTA to be served in this establishment."

Perhaps not surprisingly, there is no video for this crazy!sexy!cool! event from history.  Al Gore debating Ross Perot actually maxes out the excitement level, to the extent that tells you something. 

Bridges

"You must be older than The Bridges of Madison County to be served in this establishment."

Deserve's got nothing to do with it

"You must be older than Unforgiven to be served in this establishment."

Hey Jealousy!

"You gotta be older than the Gin Blossoms to be served in this joint."

... actually, let's do a double play:

Beautiful Girl

"You must be older than Welcome to Wherever You Are to be served in this establishment."

... actually, let's go for another one:

Buffy

"You must be older than Buffy the Vampire Slayer to be served in this establishment."

Joe Shuster

"You gotta have drawn breath with the guy who drew Superman to be served in this establishment."

What's the 411, hon?

"You must be older than Mary J. Blige's recording career to be served in this establishment."

You're the one for me, Fatty

"You must be older than Your Arsenal to be served in this establishment."

Selena Gomez

"You must be older than the former future Mrs. Bieber[fn1] to be served in this establishment."

fn1:  Or so the Internets tells me.  Whatever.  I can't even keep up with what the kids are saying these days, so get offa my lawn!

Get out your seat

"You must be older than House of Pain to drink in this establishment."

New World Order

"You must be older than Psalm 69 to drink in this establishment."

How the Gods Kill

"You must be older than Danzig III to drink in this establishment."

And I notice its turning

"You must be older than the last George Harrison album to drink in this establishment."

Holli Would if She Could

"You must be older than Cool World to be served in this establishment."

This was four years after Who Framed Roger Rabbit? (and decades past Fritz the Cat), so it's hardly an innovator in the school of Sexy Cartoons.  It's possible (though possibly a misuse) to call it Brad Pitt's first mainstream starring role, although he'd been prominently as a supporting role in Thelma & Louise the year before.