Bacdafucup

"You must be older than Onyx to be served in this establishment."

So Young

"You must be older than Suede to be served in this establishment."

Before he was NPH, he was... just Doogie, I guess.

"You must be older than Doogie Howser, M.D. to be served in this establishment."

The weekly ending sequence was often imitated (Sarah Jessica Parker, looking at you):

If you're faithful...

... and you're devoted:

"You must be older than Songs of Faith and Devotion[fn1] to be served in this establishment."

--
fn1:  The album, not the first instance of the songs themselves. 
--
Depeche Mode might have been the first Information Age act of any fame.  This album came out the same day as the Pentium chip, and around the same time, they broke Internet ground by participating in a live-chat on AOL.  It worked about as well as you would expect "America On-Hold" to do, though, and Martin Gore or someone couldn't log on.

Whatchu wanna do? Wanna be hackers? Code crackers? Slackers

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pentium

"You must be older than Point of No Return to drink here."

Mulva?

"You must be older than 'The Junior Mints' episode of Seinfeld---"

"---also known as the 'Dolores' episode---"

"---to be served in this establishment."

... and happy birthday, Catherine, Chris, and Amy!

"You must have drawn breath at the same time as Helen Hayes to be served in this establishment."

"We're classy like that.  She's one of a dozen people to win the EGOT, which... I mean.  I don't really know why that's such a big deal, but LA people put it up there."

'93 Superstorm

"You must be older than the Storm of the Century to be served in this establishment."

It lacks the gross overstated inelegance of "Snowmageddon," I'll grant you.  But this was the 90s; people had to make do. 

Les Horribles Cernettes

I can't actually find a specific date for this, and anyway I missed it when the milestone passed, but anyway....

... kids younger than the first picture on the Internet are old enough to drink today.  It appears the photo was taken July 18, 1992, so in theory this has been true since last summer, but I can't find a reliable date for when Berners-Lee actually uploaded it. 

"You must be older than the Janet Reno era to be served in this establishment." 

"And look, she's kind of a stickler for the rules about these things, so don't get cute telling me you left your ID at the hotel and you don't want to go back to the beach.  She used to be the law in this town, and I ain't messing around."

"Not only the first woman Attorney General, she was one of only four cabinet secretaries to serve all of Clinton's eight years.  (I thought she was the only one, but Babbitt, Shalala, and Education Sec'y Richard Riley matched it... somehow I'd forgotten about them.  Also EPA head Carol Browner.)"

"Wow, I really know a lot about the Clinton White House for a bartender in the year 2014, huh?  Not sure what explains that...."

Lenny

"You must be older than Are You Gonna Go My Way to be served in this establishment."

I'm not black like Barry White / I am white like Frank Black is

"You must be older than Frank Black, as opposed to Black Francis, to drink here."

 

 

"See that you don't drink too much, though, unless you want a..."

 



 

No, no---just kidding.  Kids that age will have to use a fake for another year.

Hu-huh, hu-huh

"You must be older than the birth of my immaturity, and the death of my parents' hopes for me, to be served in this establishment."

And if you know anything about me, you know that's not the only clip I'm going to include.  I mean, c'mon.

Ten Summoner's Tales

"You must be older than... that one Sting album, what was it called?  You know the one.  Where he was clearly too old to be a rock god anymore, but... you know.  He wasn't that bad as a soulful Adult Contemporary legend.  Anyway, kids that age can drink now.  Christ."

D.A.I.S.Y. Age

Damn.  Can't believe I missed this.

"You must be older than De La Soul to... ah, run for Congress."