Above the Rim SDTK

"You must be older than 'Regulate' to be served in this establishment."

Ahhhh, I've made up your mind!

"You must be older than Vauxhall & I to be served in this establishment."

... and happy birthday, Ned!

"You must be older than Serial Mom to be served in this establishment."

It's the Citizen Kane of hula-hoop movies!

"You must be older than The Hudsucker Proxy to be served in this establishment."

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Diary_(Sunny_Day_Real_Estate_album)

"You must be older than Internet spamming to be served in this establishment."

(pic)

"You gotta have shared the earth with John Candy to be served in this establishment."

"Happy 21st birthday, Justin Bieber!"

Tonight the city is full of whores

"You must be older than Mellow Gold to be served in this establishment."

We got whores in the city; we need backup! C'mon!

"You must be older than 'Don't Ask, Don't Tell' to be served in this establishment."

'Cause there's No Cure for Cancer

"You gotta have sucked some wind---some smokey, choked-off wind---at the same time as Bill Hicks to be served in this establishment."

(Post caption is the punchline to a joke beginning, "Why is Bill Hicks forgotten and Denis Leary famous?"  I actually am not that convinced by the story that Leary stole Hicks's act; they don't sound that similar to me.) 

"You must be older than Dakota Fanning to be served in this establishment."

She and Kristin Stewart co-starred in this one little thing:

"You must be older than Reality Bites to be served in this establishment."

Welcome to the Cruel World

"You must be older than Ben Harper's recording career to be served in this establishment."

"You must have breathed the same air as Jack Kirby to be served in this establishment."

"You must have been born before white people first heard about Jim Carrey to be served here."

"You must be older than 'The Streets of Philadelphia' to be served here."

If memory serves, this is still the only song to win an Oscar, a Grammy, and be #1.

When masturbation's lost its fun you're fucking lonely

"You must be older than Dookie to be served in this establishment."

Never was a cornflake girl

"You must be older than Under the Pink to be served in this establishment."

"Why me? Why anybody?"

"You must be older than the Nancy Kerrigan attack to be served in this establishment."

(Thanks to Paul F. Thompkins for the full quote.)