"You must be older than Kaitlin Cooper from The O.C. to drink in this establishment."

I'm not familiar with the show or any of its characters, myself, but I believe she's the one famous for her wacky catchphrase, "I'm telling your parents, Clarence!"

Drop a coin in the jukebox, not the phone on the wall

Happy 21st birthday, first kids conceived to "So Close" by Hall & Oates!

I do believe this video provided the backdrop for the line, "He's smiling at you, Beavis."

... and happy Father's Day, to any fathers.

"You must be older than For Unlawful Carnal Knowledge to drink in this establishment."

Situation no-win; rush for a change of atmosphere

"You must be older than "Rush" by Big Audio Dynamite to drink in this establishment."

"You must be older than the Pinatubo eruption to drink in this establishment."

Nowadays, "Will Scarlet" and "Little John" would be jokes about their dicks

"You must be older than Robin Hood:  Prince of Thieves to drink in this establishment."

In the criminal justice system...

Happy 21st birthday, first kids conceived in the Law & Order era!

I used to be a huge geek for this show, and the episodes with the original casts were always the best.  George Dzundza was first to go---I don't need to tell you he was murdered to prevent his testimony---and after that, Paul Sorvino retired after being shot by a gun deal, and to make way for Jerry Orbach; Paul Butler was replaced by Jill Hennessey, who asked Sam Waterston about his habit of sleeping with his colleagues on the first day he replaced Mike Moriarty... that was the first day Epatha Merkerson had replaced Dann Florek, too.  

Man.  The show got ridiculous after its eleventh and twelfth seasons, when the "ripped from the headlines!" gimmick devolved into its entire reason for being, but the way I remember it, the early years, it was the best drama on television.  

In which I make a terrible attempt at political humor

Sorry, real slow news day in history, or it appears to be, because I've been staring at a blank space on this calendar box for a long time.  So I'll note another site that's using the familiar this-date-in-history technique, although they aim back 70 years.  Accordingly:

"You must be as old as Anne Frank's diary to be able to retire (if the Republicans get their way)."

"You must be older than the Boris Yeltsin era in order to drink in this establishment."

"How's Annie? How's Annie?"

"You must have been born before the end of Twin Peaks to drink in this establishment."

"You must be older than Street Fighter II to drink in this establishment."

Slow day in history

Happy 21st birthday, arty kid conceived after the film festival premiere of The Hot Spot!

"Wait, wait---don't tell me; let me guess.  You, uhh... you... liked sugar cereal but your folks wouldn't get it for you?  Or... you had a pet, of some sort?  Possibly? 

"Yeah, nobody saw this movie.  I got nothin'.  But hey:  More Jennifer Connolly."

But you're way out of line

"You must be older than 'You Could Be Mine' to drink in this establishment."

Tall and tan and young and lovely...

"You gotta have breathed some of the same air as Stan Getz to drink here."

"I like to get high; I'm a ckh-ckh-ck-k-kh crack head!"

"You must be older than Jungle Fever to drink in this establishment."

"You must be older than 'It Ain't Over 'Til It's Over' to drink in this establishent."[fn1]

---------------

fn1:  I made a mistake with this the first time.  My bad. 



"... there are no guns, no bombs and no disease"

Happy 21st birthday, first kids conceived to 'From a Distance'![fn1]

"Now let me just go out on a limb---your folks' marriage was on the rocks, and they had you to try to reconnect; that worked for a couple of years until your dad went out for diapers one night, 'cause it was his turn, and he never came back.  Your mom spent the next couple of years dating guys she met at her codependents' anonymous meetings and telling you how love was one thing, the ability to goddamn stick it out even when things don't easy is something else, and when she didn't ever meet your prom date a second time she told you she thought she raised you better than that.  Stop me if I'm getting too close."

"Well, anyway, no one here wants you to stick it out, and they don't even want you to fall in love.  Just go talk to someone in glasses and ask if they heard the new Wilco album yet.  First shot's on me."[fn2]
------
fn1:  Technically, only those after Bette Midler's version, as apparently it had been covered before.
fn2:  Haven't I pulled this schtick before?  Is this becoming my, you know, thing?  I think the blog might need a graphic for a surly bartender....

"You must be older than Type O Negative to drink in this establishment."

"You must have been born before the Pokey Reese era to drink here."

That man right there fielded the last out of the 2004 ALCS.  You may remember something about that one. 

... annnnd happy birthday, Arun!

"You must be older than Liquid Television to drink in this establishment."