"Happy 21st birthday, first kids conceived to 'Sadeness' by Enigma!"

"Lemme guess, your dad was the last guy of his friends to have a fuzzy goatee and ponytail, and your mom tried to bond with you over Enya and later Belly, and you probably want to order a cocktail invented during Prohibition with a name like 'vespertine' or something.  Well, we ain't got that, so here's your whiskey and rocks and a special birthday tip:  Quit thumbing through the jukebox looking for the Magnetic Fields and go tell them cute hipsters they got nice eyes and see which of 'em wants to go home with ya.  Everything's a lot easier if you stop treating the world like it's your eighth grade art project."