Tonight the city is full of whores

"You must be older than Mellow Gold to be served in this establishment."

We got whores in the city; we need backup! C'mon!

"You must be older than 'Don't Ask, Don't Tell' to be served in this establishment."

'Cause there's No Cure for Cancer

"You gotta have sucked some wind---some smokey, choked-off wind---at the same time as Bill Hicks to be served in this establishment."

(Post caption is the punchline to a joke beginning, "Why is Bill Hicks forgotten and Denis Leary famous?"  I actually am not that convinced by the story that Leary stole Hicks's act; they don't sound that similar to me.) 

"You must be older than Dakota Fanning to be served in this establishment."

She and Kristin Stewart co-starred in this one little thing:

"You must be older than Reality Bites to be served in this establishment."

Welcome to the Cruel World

"You must be older than Ben Harper's recording career to be served in this establishment."

"You must have breathed the same air as Jack Kirby to be served in this establishment."

"You must have been born before white people first heard about Jim Carrey to be served here."

"You must be older than 'The Streets of Philadelphia' to be served here."

If memory serves, this is still the only song to win an Oscar, a Grammy, and be #1.