"You must be older than the Brandon Teena murder to be served in this establishment."

I can't believe I know this song's g.d. name

"You must be older than Meghan Trainor to drink in this establishment."

... and happy birthday, Melissa!

Boys and girls! Action!

"You must be older than The State to be served in this establishment."

... and happy birthday, Molly and Vic!

"You gotta have sucked wind at the same time as Myrna Loy in order to drink here."

DOOM (or "NEDM," if you're from that corner of the Internet)

"You must be older than pretty much first-person shooters to be served in this establishment."

Now, Wolfenstein 3-D preated this game by like a minute. But DOOM achieved an overwhelming popularity that really established the genre. 

Although "genre" isn't really a word one thinks of as being spoken by that group of fans.

A date living in more infamy than before

"You must be older than the LIRR massacre to be served in this establishment."

"Wow... Elian Gonzalez is old enough to drink in the States today.

"You gotta have sucked wind at the same time as Frank Zappa to be served in this establishment."